To many, the thought of being alone for more than five minutes is scary, impossible, or unheard of. Spouses, the kids, TV, the internet, friends, all seem to take top precedence.For those who seek solitude as a focus for their daily life, they may truely find strength. This may be found among musicians, poets, painters, whose solitude is crucial for creating works of art. However, meditators,philosophers, and nature buffs seek solitude at times for solitude's sake alone.
Being alone, by oneself can be a treasure trove-where one may discover all of his/her gifts, and ways to put them to use in the world. In contrast, when one is with others, and in many diverse activities, he or she may miss or forget about those gifts. While connecting to the needs and demands of others, one's own special needs go unnoticed. The gifts are present, just tucked away. Waiting for the right time to reveal themselves.
At first, the decision to spend time alone could be quite painful. Certain walls are down;we are forced to look at things about ourselves that we rather not see. It is far easier to see a TV character struggling with shyness or fear, than our own "stuff". Once one gets over the pain, in the initial focusing on uncomfortable "stuff", he or she can begin to MOVE ON.
Fine-tuning begins when one can receive information from the initial focusing, without freaking out! It may be a quiet, still voice saying, "watch less TV," or, "don't worry about your hair", or, "where to vacation in January".
Your mantra needs to be, STAY PRESENT~REMAIN QUIET~STAY PRESENT.
We have come from being with others, to being alone, focusing, fine-tuning, receiving information, and now the fun begins! Creation!
"In the beginning was the word, and the word was god". The Bible
Create something from nothing? No! The gifts were always there. They just had to be revealed, one bit of gold at a time. A gentle tug from a friend(your self) is what you need to move with this. A momentum is beginning, from a tiny trickle to a splashing stream.
You were meant to be in the flow. As toddlers, you experienced being present. You took risks-in painting, sand box play, standing on your head, saying what you felt.
Flowing is our birth-right! Our very being-ness! To flow is to be. Doing is just plain personality.
A flower flows, is being. A person flows, is being.
Some things to do, while waiting for the great epiphany, called solitudinal strength:
-Take a day, or week off, from one's daily schedule.
-Walk in the park at lunchtime.
-Stroll by the seashore, by the light of the full moon.
-Wake up an hour early, and learn how to meditate, or do gentle yoga.
-Read poetry outloud by candlelight, to your favorite classical or new age music.
-Take a hot pink peppermint bubble bath, with a warm cup of comforting herbal tea.
-Give yourself a foot massage,or an oatmeal facial.
All of these activities include JUST YOU. What is key to being alone is that there is a greater degree of focus on what is happening within. Time to see how you are breathing. How is your energy? Are you scattered;what is your mood right now?
Be willing to enter the mystery, with faith and focus.
This flow/pulse, which comes from staying present/quiet/alone, has been the matrix for all major works of art. In addition, it has been the source for hundreds of spiritual leaders to arrive at enlightenment. Savoring being alone can be the backdrop for your clarity, joy, and peace of mind. The most important thing you may arrive at is this:a a renewed appreciation of oneself, a true deepening of self-love.
Kathryn Lamberg
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